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The Holidays are what you make of them……..

December 30, 2013



The holidays used to be fun when we were young.  Remember, family came in, everyone was in one place, you played with your siblings and cousins.  Oh, how I wish I could get that back……..that feeling.

In the past two years, my brother and I have lost our Mom (November, 2011) and our Dad (October 2013), so close to the holidays it just did not have the same meaning as when we were younger.

They say that when the matriarch or patriarch of the family passes, the dynamics of the family change and that is so true.  Its even harder when divorced.  Everyone wants to see you at Christmas.  When my brother and I were growing up (our parents divorced when we were young), we had 5 different Christmas’ celebrations at various family members homes and Heaven forbid you miss one.  We felt like the ball in a pin ball machine at times.  I loved the time right before Christmas Eve and the day after, that is when I had the “feeling” the most.  On Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I had no time for anything because once we arrived at one place it was like time to go to the next.  I had no idea if I was coming or going.  So parents, if you are divorced, please be cognizant of the kids and not yourselves during this time – I sure felt guilty for having to leave so early at different places or they had to work around our schedule, don’t think I didn’t know that some were not happy with this arrangement. 

I saw the dynamics change when my Nannie Pauline passed away.  She was the glue that kept everyone together at Christmas.  When she passed, the Holidays were never the same.  We moved to St. Louis it was not as easy to drive back home for Christmas as we had livestock that needed care.  For 16 years we lived in St. Louis and we missed out on alot of Holidays with family and I missed that “feeling” of being home.  It’s hard to explain.

We moved back home to Oklahoma in December of 2010, yep, right before Christmas.  It wasn’t the brightest move we ever made (middle of winter) but hey, we were home.  

We had bad weather during this time and I was sick with the crud, I was not able to spend Christmas with my Momma because I was sick and her immune system was compromised and I did not want to make her any sicker.  I always thought there would be a next year……..Momma passed away in November of 2011.  We had Christmas with my Daddy and it was nice, he and my Mom (bonus mom) came over and we had dinner and opened presents.  I was so happy to finally have some of that “feeling” back.  Then the unthinkable happened, My Daddy passed away in October of 2012.  So, never put off the holidays for “next year”, there just might not be a “next year”.

With that said, I’m starting a tradition, because I want that “feeling” back and t

he only way I’m gonna get it is to make it happen!  My brother and his two boys, my nephews, the apples of my eyes, will be coming to my house for Christmas lunch and presents.  We will start our own tradition.  I just wish my son, Joshua and his family could be down for Christmas.  They live in Colorado and he works in North Dakota and we know from experience how hard it is to try and make the rounds at Christmas.

So, never put off “next year” what you can do this holiday.  You just never know……




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